How to Heal Your Wounded Inner Child
The church doesn’t seem to be comfortable talking about healing. It’s an area that’s often avoided.
The Pentecostal church is probably the most open about our need for healing.
I wonder why we don’t hear more?
Anyway, I’m not going to go into that here. I attend a good, healthy non denominational church now, so I will share my thoughts with the pastor there.
Healing is necessary for the spirit, mind, and body.
- Spirit — when we get right with God, He leads us into wholeness.
- Mind — mental and emotional healing is crucial if we are to be ambassadors for Christ.
- Body — the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, so it is our responsibility to care for it.
In this article, I will focus on our need for mental and emotional healing.
The Inner Child
For those of you who have not heard the term "inner child”, it is a term used in psychology to describe that inner child-like aspect of us.
It’s also referred to as the divine child, the wonder child, or the feeling child by some therapists.
It's that part of us that sees the world with joy and wonder.
Most of us can access this part of us unless we have suffered trauma in childhood.
The trauma could be something like losing a loved one, moving house or school, being bullied, parents divorcing, or it could be something more traumatizing as in the case of abuse.
Some Psychologists help clients to work on this trauma by doing what they call, "inner child work”.
They help the adult go back to the painful event in childhood so they can finally let it go and heal.
Many of us carry around pain like this from childhood and so it is good to know how to heal it.
If you had a traumatic event in your past that you feel is causing you problems today, I would suggest you find a counselor or therapist to help you unlock this pain.
Not all therapists are familiar with this work, so ask your counselor if they have experience with it.
You can do some of this work yourself, but keep in mind, these things don’t change overnight.
It requires a commitment to the process over a long period of time or at least until you feel more whole.
How to heal your wounded inner child
1. Awareness — you need to accept that the struggles you experience in your life today are probably due to your childhood.
2. Impulsive reactions — do you act compulsively or overreact to certain people or situations? Be ready to take responsibility for your own behaviour.
3. Prayer — you are ready to ask God to help you to heal.
4. Journalling — start to write down your thoughts, reactions, and negative self-talk. Observe yourself and aim to rectify your false beliefs.
5. Observe your child — this means, listening to the pain. This can show up when you are giving too much to others, working too hard, or not eating well. You are neglecting the needs of your inner child. It is you repeating what happened to you as a child.
6. Listen to your wounded child’s feelings — when he/she is hurt. When someone hurts you, decide to set boundaries to protect your child from being hurt again.
7. Have a dialogue with your inner child — you the adult speak to your child in a loving way. Show her compassion and tenderness. Let him/her know that you want to be there for her from now on.
8. Acknowledge and validate her — “I hear you, I see you,” etc.
9. Trust — are you pushing people away? Observe this behavior. Where is it coming from?
10. Make a decision to reparent your inner child — this means you will meet his/her needs so she can learn to trust and depend on you.
Make a decision not to abandon yourself (your inner child) anymore
When we don’t listen to our feelings, we end up abandoning ourselves which is painful, and leaves us feeling frustrated.
This happened to me recently as I hadn’t responded to my feelings in time.
We must be careful around pushy people who do not respect our boundaries or listen when we say no.
People like that are not in tune with their own inner child and so they will treat you as they treat themselves. It’s up to us to say no.
Make a commitment to being there for your inner child.
Find love and support within your church
Find a support network. The church should be a place for this. But, if the church is not providing this support, then find a Christian counselor, coach, or group to support you on your healing journey.
And, if you are a church leader, create an environment where the elders are available to listen and pray for hurting people in the congregation. Try to have a private room for this.
“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
— James 5:13–16, NIV
Final thoughts
You can do a lot to help yourself to heal. If you use the tools mentioned above you should be able to do this work yourself. You can study more on the subject and if you find an area that feels too painful to look at, don’t worry, The Lord won’t force you to open up that wound immediately.
You can ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to a safe person who would be mature enough and strong enough to walk through it with you.
Releasing your pain will increase your energy and joy for life. Make a decision to love yourself today by caring for that wounded part within you.
Blessings!
If you would like to learn more about the inner child concept, you can listen to my podcast below from The Narrow Gate.
Disclaimer:
The content in this article is provided for educational purposes and is not meant to take the place of medical advice. Please consult your doctor if you are concerned about your health.
I am a Christian life coach and have been on my healing journey for over twenty years, so I am speaking from my own experience and studies.
