One Year On: What to Do With The Anger? #Covid-19
Step 1 — Acknowledge it
This is my fourth post on anger. It started after I read an article by Mario Lopez-Goicoechea that inspired me to take time to grieve.
He wrote that we need to acknowledge that “that happened” — The Covid-19 pandemic. It happened and we need to make sense of it.
“..how do we make sense of that? We know that that happened. But, how do we even begin to rationalize it?”
— Mario Lopez-Goicoechea
I agreed, and so I decided to use this time of isolation to process my grief. But, as with all things pertaining to death, sorrow, sadness, and loss, it’s easier said than done.
I’ve found myself on a trail of all the different threads of grief and it doesn’t stop with me.
Everyone’s acting a bit weird and it’s not easy to get a decent conversation going with anyone.
It’s hard to gauge how people are processing this. My last article was a little more direct, “Don’t Be Afraid of Your Anger, it’s good for you,” encouraging others to look at their emotions.
There is definitely an unwillingness to look at grief head-on.
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross originally developed the five stages of grief to describe the process patients with a terminal illness go through to come to terms with their own deaths. It was later applied to grieving friends and family who seemed to undergo a similar process.
But, it can also be applied to any form of loss or a life-changing event (such as Covid-19).
Elizabeth Kubler Ross — the 5 stages of grief
Denial — in this stage we cling to a preferable reality.
Anger — when we recognize that we can’t stay in denial, frustration kicks in, such as “why me?”, “it’s not fair.” We look for someone to blame.
Bargaining — in this stage we try to negotiate to keep the former way of life. We sometimes try to negotiate with God for a better outcome, for things not to change. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise.
Depression—losing hope, “why go on?”, I’m losing my loved ones or old life. In this stage, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.
Acceptance — “It’s going to be okay. I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.” In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or other tragic events and face the inevitable future.
Following Mario’s article, I wrote, “There’s Power In The Pen, Writing my way through the pain.” I started to recognize that maybe I was experiencing some anger from the current situation, from others, and the world in general — the feeling in the air, the death of my father two years ago, and the passing of time.
Covid has been a struggle mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially. Uncertainty puts a strain on us all. There’s a lot of fear and anger in the atmosphere.
Some of the anger is simply coming from the frustration of being locked down, trapped, or feeling powerless.
This is why I believe Mario is right in addressing this matter because we are indeed powerless. This current world crisis is going to affect us all from this day on and it is better to acknowledge it, so we can pass through the stages of grief to reach a point of acceptance. Then at least, we can live with what is, and not be lost in a fog.
The grieving process and the anger, in particular, can trigger old wounds as it’s a familiar feeling, maybe a feeling of helplessness or powerlessness in a past situation. Many have suffered abuse, neglect, betrayal, divorce, bankruptcy, loss of a loved one, or a physical or mental illness.
It is hard to be happy when the world is so sad. But, we don’t have to be ecstatic. We can aim for a more peaceful, contented state.
From this place of being more grounded in reality, we are then able to navigate our way forward with clarity and peace of mind.
Mario suggested that we, as writers use the powerful tool we have to help us to move through this difficult season — to tap into our deepest emotions to see what needs to come forth.
The same applies to anyone else reading this article, whether it be painting, sculpting, gardening, photography, pottery, dancing, singing, writing songs — use your creative gift to release the tension from your body and get some positive emotions circulating again.
This is a time of healing and renewal. Don’t get stuck in anger.
